My Reflections on #BlackOutTuesday

It’s hard for me to reflect on (ongoing) divisive issues like this. I’d even go as far as saying that it not only induces mental unrest, but also physical discomfort.

As mentioned in previous blogs, I’m an empath and by default that means I experience my own emotions and those of others very deeply and very intensely. This, in turn, leads to longer processing times and the need to completely disconnect — often appearing disinterested — in order to figure out the best and most appropriate way for me to handle the wealth of emotions I feel all at once.

Nothing short of a gallant attempt to centre myself has to be made so that the emotions don’t overwhelm me. Unfortunately, the pursuit of balancing my thoughts doesn’t always go as smoothly as intended and, as has been the case for the last week, in light of the heinous murder of George Floyd, physical symptoms have ensued.

I’ve been unable to sleep which has led to fatigue and ongoing exhaustion, I’ve had a near constant headache as my mind works over time to try and make sense of what motivates compassionless racists, mild stress has caused tension in the muscles along my shoulders and neck and anxiety has reared it’s ugly head more than once, especially when I’ve considered joining the crowds to peacefully protest.

Another symptom is the crying. It very understandably sounds dramatic, but seeing a picture of George Floyd, or any other member of my community who has perished at the hands of unlawful, racist law “enforcers,”…